Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” So taught the Gautama Buddha, some 2500 years ago, with his hands delicately poised in front of his heart. This morning, I am sitting in front of a computer, watching the incessant demand of a blinking cursor within a blank Word document. I am thinking about the theme from the new summer issue of PARABOLA: “Giving and Receiving.” And it occurs to me that I have no idea what to say about it. A question has been posed that I have no answer for. I notice that I am particularly tense this morning, hunched over, my head supported in a sleepy left hand, my jaw clenched and that I am even holding my breath unnecessarily at moments. I watch my thoughts negotiating with the yes and the no, the before and the after. I realize that I am singing the old songs again, and find myself walking up Uneasy Street. I accept the fact I’m on Uneasy Street. Maybe I’ll do a little window shopping – find myself in a few stores. It’s my life, after all. And so I decide to sacrifice all my under-the-breath commentary and judgment about what I am experiencing and I try to take the time to really have a direct sensation of myself sitting here. Specifically, I try to watch what is taking place without interfering with anything. I find it intriguing: “So that’s how I am right now?” I notice that all these forces of thought and emotions that pull me here and there are pretty damn interesting. It’s like watching an Easter parade; a marching band of habitual attitudes and tensions.  I try to give myself wholeheartedly to this activity of watchfulness and accept it all, without reservations. It’s how it is. It takes time, but if I simply wait and listen, an inner space can appear. A subtle relaxation begins to inhabit this body. It’s a gift that I am prepared to receive. I think it’s always there, this mysterious gift, it’s just that I am often too busy to hear it. After all, it can get pretty noisy at the intersection of the here and now. –Luke Storms: from the PARABOLA Newsletter: May 13th, 2011. Subscribe to it here. Photograph: Ernst Haas, “Route 66,” Albuquerque, New Mexico, 1969.
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Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.”

So taught the Gautama Buddha, some 2500 years ago, with his hands delicately poised in front of his heart. This morning, I am sitting in front of a computer, watching the incessant demand of a blinking cursor within a blank Word document. I am thinking about the theme from the new summer issue of PARABOLA: “Giving and Receiving.” And it occurs to me that I have no idea what to say about it. A question has been posed that I have no answer for.

I notice that I am particularly tense this morning, hunched over, my head supported in a sleepy left hand, my jaw clenched and that I am even holding my breath unnecessarily at moments. I watch my thoughts negotiating with the yes and the no, the before and the after. I realize that I am singing the old songs again, and find myself walking up Uneasy Street.

I accept the fact I’m on Uneasy Street. Maybe I’ll do a little window shopping – find myself in a few stores. It’s my life, after all. And so I decide to sacrifice all my under-the-breath commentary and judgment about what I am experiencing and I try to take the time to really have a direct sensation of myself sitting here. Specifically, I try to watch what is taking place without interfering with anything. I find it intriguing: “So that’s how I am right now?” I notice that all these forces of thought and emotions that pull me here and there are pretty damn interesting. It’s like watching an Easter parade; a marching band of habitual attitudes and tensions.  I try to give myself wholeheartedly to this activity of watchfulness and accept it all, without reservations. It’s how it is.

It takes time, but if I simply wait and listen, an inner space can appear. A subtle relaxation begins to inhabit this body. It’s a gift that I am prepared to receive. I think it’s always there, this mysterious gift, it’s just that I am often too busy to hear it. After all, it can get pretty noisy at the intersection of the here and now.

–Luke Storms: from the PARABOLA Newsletter: May 13th, 2011. Subscribe to it here. Photograph: Ernst Haas, “Route 66,” Albuquerque, New Mexico, 1969.

Photograph by Fan Ho, “Approaching Shadow,” 1954 Be Kind To Oneself I try to set a time each evening to sit quietly for five or ten minutes and try to be aware of this body. I don’t need to do anything except observe what is taking place. I see that I give in to my resistances all too easily. Before I approach my meditation, I can say to my body that, “if you allow me to do this, I will let you surf the internet for an hour as a reward.” This inner bargaining can be extremely useful. And above all else, I try to remember to be kind with myself, especially the parts that remain interested in this effort. There’s an old native story that  illustrates out human predicament beautifully. It goes like this: The grandfather looked at his young granddaughter thoughtfully. Something in the beloved child of his child was developing there and so he spoke to her as follows: “Inside me, there are two wolves and these two wolves fight each other constantly. One of the wolves is aggressive, nervous and filled with a wish to succeed. The other wolf is different. He wishes for more understanding. Both wolves want fulfillment. The first wolf dreams that this could result in more prestige in the eyes of others but the other wolf believes that fulfillment may be found through the path of understanding.” The grandfather observed that his granddaughter was looking at him anxiously and added “Don’t worry about me alone, for this fight between the two wolves takes place in every one of us existing on this earth. In other people, the first wolf may have a variety of characteristics but the second wolf is, more or less, the same in everyone.” The granddaughter looked thoughtful and was silent for some time and then she said, “Grandfather, which wolf will win the fight in you?” “Well” said her grandfather, “It depends which one I feed.” —Luke Storms from PARABOLA Newsletter: September 3rd, 2010. Click here to subscribe.
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Photograph by Fan Ho, “Approaching Shadow,” 1954

Be Kind To Oneself

I try to set a time each evening to sit quietly for five or ten minutes and try to be aware of this body. I don’t need to do anything except observe what is taking place. I see that I give in to my resistances all too easily. Before I approach my meditation, I can say to my body that, “if you allow me to do this, I will let you surf the internet for an hour as a reward.” This inner bargaining can be extremely useful. And above all else, I try to remember to be kind with myself, especially the parts that remain interested in this effort. There’s an old native story that  illustrates out human predicament beautifully. It goes like this:

The grandfather looked at his young granddaughter thoughtfully. Something in the beloved child of his child was developing there and so he spoke to her as follows:

“Inside me, there are two wolves and these two wolves fight each other constantly. One of the wolves is aggressive, nervous and filled with a wish to succeed. The other wolf is different. He wishes for more understanding. Both wolves want fulfillment. The first wolf dreams that this could result in more prestige in the eyes of others but the other wolf believes that fulfillment may be found through the path of understanding.”

The grandfather observed that his granddaughter was looking at him anxiously and added “Don’t worry about me alone, for this fight between the two wolves takes place in every one of us existing on this earth. In other people, the first wolf may have a variety of characteristics but the second wolf is, more or less, the same in everyone.”

The granddaughter looked thoughtful and was silent for some time and then she said, “Grandfather, which wolf will win the fight in you?” “Well” said her grandfather, “It depends which one I feed.”

—Luke Storms

from PARABOLA Newsletter: September 3rd, 2010. Click here to subscribe.